When you want to quit but can’t
I want to talk about something that does not always get discussed very realistically in personal development spaces. The experience of being somewhere that is draining you, knowing you want to leave, and not being able to… Yet. And that yet is the important part, which we will get to in this post.
Personal development spaces tend to talk about this in a motivational way that does not always reflect reality. The "you just need to want it enough" version of this conversation does not acknowledge the bills, the responsibilities, the timing, all the very real things that keep you somewhere that is taking more from you than it is giving back…
How building something changes your identity
Over the past year or so, I have been taking some concrete steps towards building my identity. What I mean by this is that when it comes to my professional life, I spent a long time not really knowing what I wanted, but I did figure out that I am someone who needs to find meaning and purpose in what I put out into the world, but defining how I do that, and how it aligns to who I actually am, has not come easy…
Celebrate small wins
I hit 100 subscribers on YouTube recently and to many people, that might not sound like a lot, but for me, it was huge.
We can often find ourselves trying to navigate a very fast paced, results driven world where the opportunities to stop and reflect on a small win can be bypassed by feelings of what's next. I am no stranger to that, there was a part of me that instantly shifted my focus to the next 100 and beyond, and I think that is quite a natural reaction to have, but I decided to stop myself. Because that 100 is 100 people who found something useful, or something that made them feel less alone, and that is worth sitting with for a little while…
Self-compassion as a practice
I recently shared a post and video called 'Reframing as a Trust Practice' and some of the feedback I received on it got me thinking about how we can have more compassion for ourselves.
There was a theme in the feedback, people were saying that the advice gave them permission to feel safe and supported, and that made me want to expand on the topic a little, because I don't think cultivating self-compassion is easy or always comes naturally to us at all. There can also be some confusing conversations about self-compassion in the personal development space, so in this post I am going to share what being on your own side actually means to me.
Reframing as a trust practice
Reframing negative thoughts gets talked about a lot in personal development spaces and often falls into the "toxic positivity" area of the industry and, I can see where this comes from. Feeling like you have to reframe every negative thought you have when you actually do just want to have a rant about something is not productive and, in a lot of circumstances, it is actually quite counterproductive when it comes to moving through the emotion effectively. However, I do think that it deserves the attention it gets, we maybe just need to reconsider how to make it work…
Turning big goals into mini missions
I feel like we all have that one goal that lives quietly in the back of our minds. Sometimes it'll come forward a bit and stir up some excitement in us, only to retreat again when we decide it is too lofty for right now; it needs to become a someday goal instead…
Admitting that you actually want to try
I feel like I am not alone in thinking that somewhere along the way, wanting to try became embarrassing. The reason I say I am not alone is because I see content about it all the time, people saying they are finally giving something a go, people talking about how they held themselves back out of fear of failure. And then sometimes I will see the other side of it too: the people making fun of others for trying…
Finding ways to feel like yourself again
I started writing this post while sitting in a virtual co-working session with complete strangers, and honestly, it was the first time in a few weeks where I felt a glimmer of my creative self shine through again.
I am not sure whether it was the accountability that the call created for me with the timed working sessions and midway check points, or just knowing that I actually had some dedicated time booked into my calendar just to show up creatively in some way, but I felt so good for it…
Fall in love with the process of becoming
It has taken quite a lot over the past few months for me to feel okay with allowing myself to explore my creativity out in the open. When I was younger, I was painfully shy and as I got older, that shyness transformed into something else: perfectionism. I wanted everything to be perfect and ready to be seen from the get-go, because if it was, then nothing embarrassing or off-putting could come of it and it was unlikely to be criticised or fail…
Repurposing purpose
As I am going through my early thirties, at what can sometimes feel like lightning speed, I have occasionally found myself being struck by those familiar early thirties panics: Am I too far behind everyone else career-wise? Am I supposed to be a homeowner by now? Should I be having a baby… yesterday?!
Stop booing yourself
A few months ago, around the time I started a series on social media that required posting every day for 33 days, I saw the quote:
Stop booing yourself off the stage before you have had a chance to perform
And when I say it stuck with me, I mean it stuck with me, like the putty I got stuck in my fringe when I was younger.
I subsequently had to have the putty chopped out of my fringe, so I was styling micro-bangs before they were cool. I digress…
Subtle self-sabotage
How do I know when I am self-sabotaging?
It is the feeling that, despite my want to do something positive and maybe even productive, I am choosing to do the thing that, in the moment, doesn’t really illicit any real feeling.
Self-sabotage is compounding…
Questions to ask yourself as we enter a new year
I almost said I can’t believe it is New Year’s Day, but for some reason, this year it feels about time.
I think it might be because my head has been absolutely brimming with ideas as we approached the end of the year, and in all honesty, I can’t wait to get started on them…
Lessons from starting again
Somewhere along the line, I have got quite good at starting again.
From many job changes throughout my late teens and early twenties to moving house or relocating at what has at times felt like the drop of a hat. Starting again has become something that I have developed a bit of skill around…