Finding ways to feel like yourself again

I started writing this post while sitting in a virtual co-working session with complete strangers, and honestly, it was the first time in a few weeks where I felt a glimmer of my creative self shine through again.

I am not sure whether it was the accountability that the call created for me with the timed working sessions and midway check points, or just knowing that I actually had some dedicated time booked into my calendar just to show up creatively in some way, but I felt so good for it.

This post wasn't what I had planned to work on during that co-working session. But I felt so compelled to write about finding ways to feel like yourself again because I was, and still am, coming to it from quite a vulnerable place.

I tend to find that I can be quite a reflective writer, so writing about something when I am in the midst of it can feel a little intimidating for me, but this is a space for me to share and hopefully connect with other people who are going through similar feelings, so what's a little vulnerability between friends (sigh…).

When Losing Yourself Happens Gradually

I often find that it isn't immediately clear when exactly we lose our way. Especially when we are all just in the midst of getting on with things, you know… Work, personal life, trying to drink enough water and get enough sleep. It is often more of a gradual shift until it feels like it becomes an identity crisis.

For me, I have been going through some feelings related to my work life recently that have consumed more of me than I would normally be happy with. Feelings of diminishment and then also depletion, which has meant my personal time has not felt quite as personal as I would like it to.

This ends up creating a bit of a cruel irony because I have things in my personal life that genuinely excite me. Writing these posts, creating things to share online, dedicating time to exercise, and just having undisturbed personal time. Being able to relax without a care in the world. But when you are plagued with this feeling of who even am I, what do I actually enjoy doing, and when will I ever feel like I can do it again, it is near enough impossible to get back to that place of contentment.

Why You Know What Would Help (And Still Can't Do It)

And then, sitting right on top of all of that, is guilt. Because the thing about being in this place is that you often know exactly what would help. You can see the things that would bring you back to yourself, but you just cannot seem to get to them. And that isn't laziness — it is depletion. Whether that is physical or mental, or what was my personal favourite, both, there is a wall there, and it takes more than willpower to get through it.

I have a strong belief that overall contentment is the best form of existence for me personally. I don't need to feel constantly challenged, although I love a little healthy challenge from time to time. I don't need to be on the edge of my seat or working myself to the bone to feel like I am truly living. Feeling content with what I have going on in my life is more than enough for me, and it also doesn't feel like much to ask for. When that is out of alignment, I end up feeling rather lost.

Finding Ways to Feel Like Yourself Again (What Actually Helped Me)

So how can we start to wade through these murky waters? I would be hesitant to say that I have all the answers, but I can share what has worked for me this time around. I still have a way to go, but I feel ten times more positive about my identity and where I am headed than I did a few weeks ago.

The first thing I did was attend that co-working session. It was run by an online community I had joined earlier in the year. I had signed up about a month before it ran, and when it came up in my calendar, I had slightly forgotten about it. But I am so glad I went. It was just over an hour out of my evening, and it made a huge difference to how I felt about myself and my creative life.

The other thing I love, and have recently reintroduced into my life, is going to barre classes. I discovered barre a few years ago, and after moving house and just going through the motions with life and work for a while, I stopped making time for it, and it showed. Not just in a health and fitness sense, but mentally. I was thinking about it constantly, and I couldn't get my head around not feeling able to make time for something I enjoyed so much. So I went back to the studio, and it feels so good to be there again. (There is also something very exciting on the barre front that I will be sharing very soon hehe...)

What I Noticed When I Started Showing Up for Myself

Since making time for both of these things, I have noticed a few shifts worth sharing.

Having things in the calendar and actually holding myself accountable for showing up to them has massively changed how I see myself day to day. I go from feeling like someone who is not doing very much for herself at all, to feeling like a doer. And for me, that matters. That is not just who I want to be, it is who I actually am, when I get out of my own head long enough to remember it.

I have also noticed that having community and shared space, even with strangers, can become a surprisingly powerful anchor. Not just for accountability but for showing you how you want to take up space — and giving you the room to actually do it.

And perhaps most importantly, I have noticed that even the smallest things can make the biggest difference. That co-working session was just over an hour of my evening, and it completely changed my view on shared spaces, accountability and how I can make more dedicated time for my creativity.

You Don't Find Yourself All at Once

It is very rare that you find yourself all at once. It tends to happen in these small moments that can seem rather inconsequential at the time, but if you have been in a stagnant spot where nothing feels quite like you, that tiny moment of recognition is often enough to spark something.

So, if you reflect on the past few weeks or months, has there been anything, however small, that made you feel a little more like yourself? If there is something, do more of it. I booked myself into three barre classes in one go, and having those sessions already in the calendar has filled my cup more than I could have imagined.

And if you are in the middle of this right now and would find it helpful to have someone to think it through with, that is exactly what I can help you with, so feel free to get in touch.