Admitting that you actually want to try

I feel like I am not alone in thinking that somewhere along the way, wanting to try became embarrassing. The reason I say I am not alone is because I see content about it all the time, people saying they are finally giving something a go, people talking about how they held themselves back out of fear of failure. And then sometimes I will see the other side of it too: the people making fun of others for trying.

The irony of this is that in a world that heavily celebrates and idolises success, any visible effort people make to get there ends up getting mocked. There is also this push to ‘move in silence’ and not share the process.

This online discourse means that those of us who love to see the process, who want to support people who are trying and who love to hear about the work that goes into how someone made it, miss out. But more importantly than that, the people who want to try out loud might not actually do it. And they could spend a long time, if not a whole lifetime, playing it safe.

Trying Is Cringe (Until It Isn't)

Playing it safe can show up in so many different ways. Staying in the same job much longer than you should. Never starting that hobby you have always wanted to try. Putting off a new course or talking yourself out of pivoting your business. It tends to be these quiet ways in which we shelve the things we actually want, for fear of the discomfort that comes with going after them.

These shelved things become ‘maybe one day’ things and they pile up. Eventually, when you look at the list, you might not even recognise who it was who wrote it down because it no longer aligns with who you are now. You may have ignored your inner voice for so long that for those things on the ‘maybe one day list’ you have to dig so deep inside yourself to find the spark that once ignited them.

Something I did was a five-year plan. And I am not saying there is anything wrong with a five-year plan, I actually think it is quite a positive thing to do. Where it becomes counterproductive is when you either never reflect on it, or you let the things on there just sit. You are not actively working towards them, even in the smallest of ways. They are just words on a page that make you feel like you are doing something without the risk of actually doing anything.

The Thing I Finally Stopped Pretending I Didn't Want

Something that went onto my five-year plan nearly two years ago was to become a barre instructor. I left my very first class back in 2024 and immediately knew I wanted to train to teach it. I popped it on the five-year plan and then did not much else about it. I kept going to classes, but I did not research courses or seek out any advice, I just let it sit there.

At the start of this month, I finally decided it was time. I spent a couple of weeks researching courses, messaging people in the industry and getting back into classes after a long period away from the barre. And then, finally, I enrolled on my chosen course.

The whole process felt incredibly exciting but also a little scary. I have not had any formal education in movement; I did gymnastics and dancing when I was younger but never pursued either beyond extracurricular classes. This feels completely different to any territory I have navigated before, professionally or personally.

I felt the internal resistance. What if I am not good enough to instruct? What if it doesn't work out? But the feeling of wanting it, and the possibility of things actually working out, felt so much stronger. So, I can now say, out loud, that I am training to become a barre instructor.

What Happens When You Try Out Loud

When you say something out loud, to a friend or to the internet, something shifts. What you have said you will do moves from being a daydream to being real. It becomes something with direction.

That stage has scared me in the past. I have had to override my internal voice and just keep doing instead of thinking, because when you are doing, you are building momentum. That momentum might just be your own personal growth, or it might be people showing up for you, opportunities starting to appear, the sense of possibility expanding further than you could imagine.

There is something about being witnessed in your trying that makes everything feel more achievable. The community that builds around it and the accountability that develops, and for me, I also find a lot of joy in not hiding what, or who, I would like to become.

A Little Pep Talk Before You Go

I wanted to round this post off with a little pep talk, because I know I was really searching for one before I finally took the leap with enrolling onto my course.

It is not too late to want something new, to start something new, or to admit to yourself that you want to become someone new. To allow yourself to try is to allow yourself to trust in your own instincts about what you need. And if the thing you try does not work out exactly how you planned, what you learn from it will always take you somewhere. The opportunity to pivot or redirect is never a wasted one.

What is something you have been pretending you do not want, or not quite admitting to yourself that you would love to try?

And if you would like help figuring out what your version of trying looks like, please feel free to reach out here – I would love to talk it through with you.