The Art of Recommitment: Building Trust with Yourself Again

Self-trust is a quiet and steady belief that we have within ourselves that we can be relied on. It is understood that our decisions are well thought out, our intentions are good, and that we can follow through with what we say we will do.  

It is an understanding that if things fall apart, you will still be there, looking out for yourself.

However, the ability to trust ourselves can undergo an evolution. We make promises that we aren't always able to keep, ignore our instincts or lose our way in the pursuit of goals that no longer align with us. When this happens, it can feel deeply personal. It can feel like any cracks that show in our confidence mean something must be wrong with us.

This is not true.

The art of recommitment isn't about starting over; it's about recommitting to a goal. It is the practice of returning to and realigning with yourself, your goals, and where you want to be without feelings of guilt.

 Developing a strong sense of self-trust is crucial when navigating the world. When we have trust in ourselves, we can act from a place of inner calm, making clearer decisions, recovering from setbacks more quickly, and presenting ourselves more authentically to our communities.

 To understand how self-trust impacts these areas, let's explore them a little more tangibly:

Decision-Making

When you trust yourself, you will likely no longer feel the need to consult dozens of people before making a decision. You can listen to your inner voice and take aligned action, even if it feels uncomfortable at the beginning. Self-trust gives you the courage to really listen to your gut instinct and practice saying yes when it feels right and no when it doesn't. Without it, we can often find ourselves second-guessing, overanalysing, and hesitating out of fear of making the "wrong" move.

Confidence and Emotional Resilience

Having confidence and emotional resilience isn't just about believing you'll succeed; it's about believing you'll be able to handle whatever happens. Self-trust is a quiet strength that underlies genuine confidence. This kind of confidence or belief in yourself isn't performative. It's not about always being certain that something will work out, but about staying connected enough to your resilience so that you know things will work out as they were meant to, even when things are uncertain.

Healthy Relationships

Self-trust enables you to establish boundaries with a partner, articulate your needs, and show your true intentions without fear of rejection or guilt. When you trust yourself, it becomes easier not to rely on others to validate your worth. You show up as your whole self, and you choose relationships that honour that.

Every meaningful form of change, whether that is healing from your past, building new habits, or pursuing your purpose, requires varying levels of self-trust. Without it, growth can become performative. We try to fix ourselves from the outside in. But when we trust ourselves, growth becomes an act of love, not punishment. We evolve not because we think we're broken but because we know we're worth putting in the effort.

I've been on a journey of self-trust building recently. I have damaged my self-trust due to my inability to follow through on things I have chosen to start. I have made many promises to myself that I have broken when it comes to my creative projects, which is tough for me to think about because I know I wouldn't do the same to a loved one. Why should the promise-keeping priority be any different from my own personal promises to myself?

Self-trust doesn't usually disappear in one dramatic moment. It will often fade quietly over time, worn down by small, repeated decisions that say, "You don't matter as much as everything and everyone else." That has definitely been my experience in the past.

Sometimes, we don't even realise it's happening until we're standing in the aftermath, uncertain of our instincts, doubting our voice, and wondering why we feel so disconnected from ourselves.

Let's name a few of the most common ways that self-trust begins to fracture:

Breaking Promises to Yourself

As mentioned, this has been one I have been particularly familiar with in the past. You say you'll start tomorrow. You say this time will be different. But then life gets loud, or motivation fades, and the promise you made to yourself shifts right down your priority list. When this happens repeatedly, even with the best intentions, your subconscious starts to believe: "I can't count on myself." It's not the missed workout or the abandoned project that hurts most; those can be recovered at any time. It's the inner message those choices send.

Ignoring Your Intuition

You had a feeling, a gut instinct of some sort. But you chose to ignore it. Maybe to avoid conflict, maybe to stay comfortable, maybe because someone else's voice felt louder than your own. Every time we override our gut, we chip away at our inner guidance system. And eventually, we can find ourselves losing touch with what that inner voice even sounds like.

Perfectionism and Unrealistic Expectations

This is another one that I could definitely assign to myself as well. Self-trust suffers when we set ourselves up to fail. When your goals are built on "all or nothing," there's no room for humanness and rest. Perfectionism creates a cycle: we aim too high, fall short, and then blame ourselves for not meeting our own standards. The result? We stop trying. We don't stop trying because we're lazy, but because we're tired of letting ourselves down.

Living Out of Alignment

When your actions don't reflect your values, your inner world can begin to split. You might find yourself smiling when you want to speak up, or you say yes when your body screams no. Over time, that disconnection becomes a quiet betrayal. You no longer feel safe inside your own life because that life doesn't even feel like it belongs to you anymore.

Individually, these moments may seem small. But trust in yourself, like in any relationship, is built or broken through repetition. And if you've been in a long season of not showing up for yourself, it's okay to acknowledge that. This isn't about blaming yourself. It is about developing your self-awareness and turning that into a more profound sense of self-trust.

It can be very appealing to decide to make a completely fresh start. To wipe the slate clean and erase the image of yourself that you had when you set those goals, but this isn't always realistic, and it certainly isn't required to recommit to your goals.

New beginnings can be great, but they are rarely what we need when it comes to working towards becoming realigned with our goals again. Completely starting over implies that everything that came before this moment doesn't matter. It can create a sense that we must erase or outrun our past to be worthy of change.

 Self-trust is built in the small, repeated moments that happen every day, and it grows when you learn to stay with yourself, even after a detour, when you choose to return, not restart, when you let your past inform you rather than define you.

Let's look at some ways in which you can rebuild your self-trust:

Awareness Without Judgment

The first step is simply noticing where you've disconnected from yourself. It's possible that you've let one of your habits slip, ignored a boundary, or kept quiet about something you feel passionate about. The key here is awareness, not shame. Self-trust grows not through blame but through treating yourself with the same compassion you would give a loved one.

Small, Repeatable Actions

Trust is rebuilt in follow-through. You don't need to overhaul your life to reconnect with yourself. What you need are small promises to yourself that you can keep. These could be getting up ten minutes earlier, taking a walk before work or working on your creative project for one hour a day.

These actions seem simple, but when done consistently, they tell your nervous system: "I can rely on myself again."

Repair, Not Punishment

Often, when we fall off track, our instinct is to punish ourselves for change. We may end up restricting, pushing ourselves too hard, or mentally punishing ourselves into "discipline." But these are not effective ways to regain our self-trust.

Ask yourself: What does repairing trust look like today?

Speaking to Yourself Differently

How you speak to yourself matters. If your inner voice is harsh and critical, you will always feel unsafe trying again. Shift from self-blame to self-coaching:

• "I messed up" becomes → "What can I learn here?"

• "I can't believe I did that" becomes → "That wasn't aligned with who I want to be. How can I realign?"

Choosing Again Without Needing Permission

You don't need a Monday or to hit rock bottom. You don't need anyone else's approval to realign with your values. Recommitment is yours to choose, anytime.

I think it is fair to say that we won't always get it right. We will still have days when we fall out of rhythm or when our inner critic gets too loud again, but it is what happens next that matters.

 What matters is that if you feel your self-trust waning, you return, not with shame, but with purpose. That you continue showing up. That you continue to choose to believe in your ability to grow, heal, and realign.

 You don't need to start over.

 You need to begin, right here, precisely as you are.

This post is part of our Monthly Rhythm for June, The Mid-Year Reset. Each week, we will share a new post to guide you through your Mid-Year Reset.

Our schedule for this month is detailed below:

Week one:

Reflect: Where Have You Been?

This week, we will reflect on the first half of the year, focusing on celebrating, releasing, and observing.

Week two:

Reset: Redefining Alignment

In the second week, we will start to focus on reassessing our goals, our energy levels, and our current alignment.

Week three:

Recommit: Taking Aligned Action

This week is our opportunity to recommit to our aligned goals, focusing on clarity, understanding, and flexibility.

Week four:

Integrate: Sustainable Momentum

In our final week, we are looking at how to build those sustainable habits that will create momentum that can be carried throughout the rest of the year.

If this sounds like a bit of you, please follow along for future posts and Monthly Rhythms!

We are also posting lots more content on our Instagram, @theredecollective. Hope to see you there 🫶🏼